Stage IV
During this stage, the teenage years, yin and yang divide and set the stage for the loss of original nature. As teenagers learn more about the world, they lose touch with their true nature and begin to define themselves according to others. "I have the power to create: I have hips. I like black. I am cool. I like tall boys. I am mysterious. I like horses. I see myself as fat so you must see me as fat, too." It is during this stage that she begins to reject heaven's will and assert her individual will onto the world. But the ego has an agenda ("I must be skinnier and cooler in order to be happy") and that becomes a theme that colors her response to the world. My theme during these years was, "I can never be good enough."
Wounds can contract us into acting out negative life themes at this stage. For example, Janice grew up being sexually abused by her older brother, someone she had loved and respected. When the abuse worsened into rectal penetration, she became deeply ashamed and left home. Rather than enjoying the self-defining phase of adolescence, she lived the pathology of metal and became rigid and withdrawn.
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She also developed the most severe case of painful endometriosis I had ever seen, in which her bowel became enveloped by the lining of her uterus. When Janice ovulated, her rectum, instead of her uterus, produced copious amounts of mucus, and each period brought on severe menstrual cramps and rectal bleeding.
After being involved in a deep spiritual quest that took her out of her body, Janice came to the Fertile Soul retreat.
Although she had been able to remove herself from the pain her body was experiencing, she hadn't found a cure for her mental and emotional pain. After spending time with her, I determined that I needed to bring her back into her body in order for her to heal emotionally. But it was incredibly difficult. Ways To Increase Conception
As I performed acupuncture on her, it was hard to keep her in the treatment - she closed her eyes to escape. But after a month of doing qi gong (pronounced "chee kung'), Chinese breathing exercises, she learned to remain in her body, even during pain.
When Janice came to a second Fertile Soul retreat, she stayed in her body during further acupuncture treatment, and that was when our souls connected. I can't tell you where I placed the needles; I just know I was guided to where they needed to go. As I placed them, a shift occurred and the energy of the room changed. Janice lunged on the treatment table and gasped in fear as her entire body undulated with a great thrusting force. But from then on, her monthly blood flowed from her uterus and her pain lessened. By accepting her body and no longer resisting what was, the cellular memories that Janice had embodied were released. She now lives happily, healthfully, and passionately, studying the ancient lncan cultures in Machu Picchu.
Stage V
Throughout Stage V, the young adult filters everything she sees and does according to the self-defining patterns established in the preceding stages. As a young adult I lived through the filter of needing to prove that I was good enough - I defined myself by my relationships, what I was doing, and how I appeared to others, a way of life completely reinforced by Western society.
Fortunately, it's always possible to ignite the light of awareness within and learn to recognize imbalance. Rose was a top young movie producer in New York City, but her stress-filled career had begun to take its toll on her health. While she was fiery by nature and thrived in her adrenaline-rich profession, her constant need for external recognition deprived her of a true sense of self and resulted in an intestinal malabsorption syndrome. Concerned for her health and well-being, Rose left her high-powered job and began acting out children's stories in a New York City school district. By nurturing herself and letting go of the need to define herself by her profession, she became able to express her creative force and helped others learn to express themselves. As she adjusted her lifestyle, her digestive system regained its health as well.
Stage VI
As an older adult, if she hasn't yet been shocked into awareness, her false sense of self may become more deeply ingrained. She becomes a creature of habit and reinforces her unhealthy posturing by getting a new car, a new profession, a "boob job" or facelift, a new boyfriend, or a new family. But no one has to remain stuck in this damaging way of life. Anyone can break away from conditioning and return to her original nature.
The husband of a friend of mine had an affair when he turned fifty. My friend, in turn, got breast implants and dyed her hair platinum. How, when she looks back, she realizes how immature both her own approach and her husband's were to dealing with the inner voices that told them they needed to find themselves.
Once they listened and looked at themselves, they found that their external changes did not bring them what they needed. By finally becoming aware that they were not living the life they were meant to live, they began a journey of more fruitful self-discovery through couple's therapy. Ways To Increase Conception
Stage VII
If she has been conditioned to push past resistance and has not listened to the warning signs in earlier stages, her negative patterning may now be her physical undoing - she may experience high blood pressure, alcoholism, heart attacks, and strokes. But even in Stage VII, it is not too late. She can still wake up to her habitual negative patterns of self-expression and take the pathway home to her original nature.
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It is never too late. With every breath we take and with every beat of our heart, we can connect to the call of the Tao and come back to ourselves. Jean, a retired municipal judge, spent most of her reproductive years on oral contraceptives. She married later in life to a man with grown children. Jean had strong wood tendencies and felt as though she imposed herself on the world without looking inside for sustenance. In her early sixties, she contracted breast cancer and had bilateral mastectomies; she felt that part of the cause of her cancer was that her reproductive and creative energies had been squelched her entire life.
After spending time at a retreat and following the ten secrets, Jean was able to let go of her rigidity. She began to appreciate the gift of life and rediscovered her connection to the ways of nature. She began posing in the nude for art photographers and at age sixty-five learned to belly dance, eventually teaching belly dancing classes. She felt as though she were growing younger rather than older and had a complete physical, mental, and spiritual rebirth. Jean's "golden years" became golden indeed.
No matter which stage you are in or what type of life you are leading, you have unlimited opportunities to transform yourself. Your story line has brought you to where you are now, but it does not need to continue to define you. At the Fertile Soul retreats, women tell their stories the first day. Then they learn to expand beyond the limitations of their stories and let them go. You have already begun to shine the light of awareness within your temple - now it is time to rebuild it. The next few blog posts will show you how to take down restricting wails, open the blinds, rearrange the furniture, and develop a new plan for living - in the palace where you were always meant to be. To learn more, you can check out Ways To Increase Conception.
