Karen was an excellent example of a body out of balance, while she appeared to be in good health, her periods stopped in her mid-thirties and her doctor found that she had premature ovarian failure and was in menopause.
Instead of listening to the messages her body was sending her - that something was wrong - Karen tried everything she could to force a period. Her doctor put her on prometrium and it didn't work. Instead it caused an increase in the level of prolactin, a hormone that causes lactation at the expense of ovulation: attacking the first symptom had only caused another symptom to occur. So Karen's body, in its infinite wisdom, had simply shut down the entire process.
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| Process Getting Pregnant |
When Karen's issue wasn't corrected by her reproductive doctor's treatments, she turned to me. I discovered that she had liver qi stagnation, the Chinese terminology for unresolved inner stress. When I discussed my finding with Karen, I told her that I could resolve the immediate physical manifestation of the stagnation, but I couldn't prevent it from returning. She would have to discover what was causing the problem.
Karen later revealed that her husband had lost his job and become very depressed. The couple was strapped financially, and Karen couldn't stand her husband's attitude about their situation. The two rarely made love, and Karen had begun to work more and be at home less. Her husband stayed home and watched television, and when Karen was home she made dinner, cleaned the house, and became even less fertile. Not long after we talked, Karen's husband went out of town for several weeks of training and during that time Karen ovulated and menstruated. Once her husband returned home, her periods stopped once again.
Now, it doesn't take a brilliant diagnostician to determine what was behind Karen's lack of periods. Perhaps her body was showing her that bringing a child into the family at that time would only magnify the couple's problems, and it was protecting her from conceiving. Other mammals don't go into heat when their environment is overly stressful. Process Getting Pregnant
Karen's initial attitude impacted her ability to recognize the truth of her situation:
- I was meant to have a child.
- I've always wanted a child.
- I finally found the perfect man and he lost his job.
- I'm starting to believe my doctor's opinion that I'm too old to have a baby. (Note that the doctor's attitude is not a fact.)
- My period won't ever come.
- I am not ready to have a baby with a donor egg and my doctor says that's my only option.
- I don't like my life, and my husband doesn't like his life.
- I nag my husband constantly and still nothing gets done.
- I am turning into my mother.
- I want to have a child.
- I haven't had my period in six months.
- My husband lost his job just over six months ago.
- Prometrium didn't work for me.
- When my husband was gone, my period came.
- I am scared I'm too old to have a baby.
- I feel hopeless.
- I'm afraid my husband and I will get divorced and I'll end up alone.
- I'm afraid I will never have a child.
- My age
- My husband's attitudes, behaviors, or job status (she could have divorced and remarried but chose not to)
- My doctor's opinions about my reproductive status
- The outcome of whether my period will come
- The outcome of whether I will become a biological mother
- I am not my mother
- My response to my husband
- My attitudes about my health and reproductive status
- My diet, eating plan, nutritional supplements
- My exercise regimen, meditation schedule, activities
- I will work eight hours per day - no more.
- I will tell my husband how his behavior makes me feel.
- I will ask him to make dinner for me when I work all day.
- If I come home and the house is messy, I will hire a housekeeper.
- I will tell my husband what I will and will not allow, and let his actions be his own.
- I will do qi gong breathing exercises every morning for fifteen minutes.
- I will do an emotion meditation exercise every evening before bed.
- When I recognize this tightening, I relax, breathe deeply, and consciously release the tension.
- I identify the feeling in my abdomen, which I usually feel as anxiety and frustration.
- I tell my husband about it if he is available to me. Otherwise I call my sister or a friend.
As it turned out, Karen was not too old. A woman's age is often used to discount other life issues. As she and her husband incorporated an empowered attitude toward improving their life situation, his training turned into a new job, Karen managed her home life, her hormones and periods returned to normal, and they eventually became parents.
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| Process Getting Pregnant |
Eight steps to receptivity
Whatever the reason, if you're not vibrantly healthy and happy, this is merely a symptom of an underlying imbalance. To find the imbalance and resolve the problem, look deep inside and think about your life as Karen did. Then answer the eight questions that helped Karen, to discover your own path to accepting yourself and your situation.
- What are my attitudes?
- What are the facts?
- What are my feelings about the facts?
- What can I not change and therefore must accept?
- What can I change?
- What is my action plan? (Be specific.)
- What are my symptoms? (To uncover deeper symptoms, bring your attention to your right midsection. Connect with your powerful liver energies. Ask yourself, What do I need to rid myself of? What do I need to overcome? Where are my energies resisting life? Let your awareness circulate within.)
- How do I respond to my symptoms?
