Although most of us have had the need for effective contraceptive use drummed into us from our teenage years, research suggests that as many as one in three pregnancies are unplanned. Although some of these pregnancies may be the result of contraceptive failure, far more are due to risk-taking. Women who had been feeling slightly ambivalent about motherhood may discover that getting pregnant unintentionally takes the element of choice away. Although some may opt to terminate the pregnancy, many decide that they want to keep the baby, particularly if they had been hoping to have children in the not too distant future.
It can be hard to make the decision to start a family, and you may never feel that the time is absolutely right. Couples who are dithering about making the commitment sometimes leave it to chance by being less careful about contraception. Although they may not be actively trying to have a baby, they may not be trying particularly hard not to have one either.
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Making a commitment
Women's lives today are not always child-friendly. Our jobs often involve working long hours or lots of travel.
Enjoying a social life, going out with different partners, seeing the world and having some life experiences can all feel more immediately important than starting a family. We may want to achieve some of our other goals in life before we are ready to think about having babies, and this means that more and more of us are well into our thirties before we seriously consider motherhood.
For young professional couples who may have spent many years enjoying their freedom and their lifestyles, starting a family can appear to be a huge life-changing step. Once you start analyzing the pros and cons, you may never feel you are at precisely the right point in your life.
Financial security is very important to some couples, who need to feel that they are settled and have enough money before making a commitment. Others may want to wait until they have a home with enough space for a child, or until they've got that promotion or pay rise they've been anticipating. The reality is that we could always be more financially secure and settled, have a larger home or have got one step further in our careers, and there is always an excuse when we are not entirely sure. For a generation accustomed to having so much choice, it is not an easy decision.
'I think it's quite a scary thing to do. In a way, you never feel ready, and we both had periods of thinking we'll make the decision and start trying and then complete panic that we had made that decision. I think it is hard, particularly for our generation, because we are used to being quite selfish really and we do see it as giving up stuff. I think for our parents it was just more automatic" Rochel, 31
What influences the decision?
For each individual, there may be a number of different factors that finally convince us we are ready for children. They may come from within and be related to our particular circumstances, or there may be external influences which lead us to the conclusion that the time is right to start trying for a baby.
Catalysts
Sometimes it is an outside event that alters your perspective, and can suddenly make you think that you are ready to make the decision to have children. It can be a relatively obvious matter of a friend or relative getting pregnant or having a baby that makes the idea more appealing, but the catalyst can come from anywhere and can be set off by any event that makes you take stock of your life and think seriously about your future.
'I'd never wanted children. It just wasn't important. I was very much into my career, getting on in life. I had other things to do. Then my granddad died, and I started wondering whether it was something to think about.' Corinne, 36. To find out more, you can check out Easy Way To Get Pregnant Naturally.
