For others, trying to find the right mindset is more of a barrier to having children than the circumstances.
Making a conscious decision to start a family can seem a monumental step, particularly as we feel we have more choice in the matter than previous generations, and are aware of the lifestyle changes it will involve.
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| Ways To Become Pregnant Easier |
Feelings about motherhood
Our ideas about how we see our lives progressing, and whether being a mother is important to us, are often shaped at an early age. Women may have very strong and certain feelings about this, or may be unsure where and how motherhood will fit into the lives they want to lead.
Knowing what you want
Motherhood is an essential part of how some women see their future, and it may be something you have always known you want in your life. You may not be wondering whether you are going to have children, but simply when you are going to get around to it. Women who feel this way may still want to wait for the right circumstances, but having a family is not something they are prepared to compromise on, and they will put themselves through whatever it takes in order to try to achieve this goal.
Motherhood doesn't hold the same attractions for everyone, and there are many women who are equally adamant that they don't ever want to have children. They may be put off by the responsibilities of having a family, and prefer instead to keep their careers, lifestyles and finances intact, or they may relish the freedom of being child-free. Making the decision not to have children is not always easy in a society that can seem to revere the family. Women who choose to be child-free may find that people assume they must be career-orientated hard-nosed types who don't have time for children in their lives, and they may feel pressured by others who cannot understand their decision.
'I think there's a lot of peer pressure. There's this expectation that it is just something that happens when you've been with someone for a long time and it is an established relationship. I never ask people why they do have children, but they always feel they have to ask me why I don't.' Sara, 44
The traditional pattern
Not all women have such definite views one way or the other when it comes to procreation, and the decision to have a child does not always involve any particularly deep thinking or longing. For our grandmothers, and indeed many of our mothers, having a baby was not something to be pondered and discussed. Starting a family was just what was expected once you were married.
Today, many couples dispense with marriage, but settling down with the right partner is usually followed at some point by discussions at least about starting a family. With so many more choices, having babies is no longer an inevitability, but the majority of couples may still expect it to happen sooner or later once they are in a stable relationship.
'I didn't even think about children until I got married, and then I assumed that at some point we would want a family. I never thought about how much I wanted it, I just assumed it was a natural progression and that I ought to want it.' Julie, 40. To find out more, you can check out Ways To Become Pregnant Easier.
