Making the decision to get medical help is not always easy. Some women prefer to leave it to nature for as long as they possibly can before they get embroiled in the whole business of tests and medical interventions. Others start worrying that something may be wrong fairly quickly, and want to rule out any potential problems after just a few months.
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| Symptoms Of Infertility |
Age
Your individual circumstances will determine how soon you should think about seeing a doctor, and once again, your age is probably the most crucial factor. If you're in your twenties, you may want to leave it 18 months before you approach your doctor, but women who are over 30 are usually advised to seek help after a year. If you are over 35, it makes sense to start investigations even sooner, after about six months, as if you do find you have problems and end up needing treatment, it is less likely to work once you reach your late thirties or early forties.
Medical history
Your medical history is also important here. If you've had an ectopic pregnancy in the past, if you know you have fibroids or have had any previous gynaecological problems, you should see your doctor sooner rather than later. Women who have had tubal or pelvic surgery, pelvic inflammatory disease or any sexually transmitted infection should also consider seeking help more quickly.
Menstrual cycle
Your menstrual cycle is relevant, as an unusual cycle can indicate problems with ovulation. If you don't have periods, if your cycle is less than 25 days or longer than 35 days, or if it is very irregular, this can suggest that you may not be ovulating normally and you should talk to your doctor.
Male conditions
There are some male conditions that may also make it advisable to see a doctor earlier. If your partner has had mumps, this can affect the testicles and cause problems with sperm production, and if he had to have an operation as a child to help his testicles drop. this may also be relevant. Men who have had a sexually transmitted infection in the past may be at risk, and should consider ruling out any sperm problems earlier on.
Health
Your general health can make a difference to how quickly you get pregnant. If you are very overweight or underweight, if you smoke, take drugs or drink a lot, you may be making it more difficult for yourself. Of course, many women do all these things and manage to conceive perfectly easily, but if you are starting to worry about not getting pregnant, you may want to make some lifestyle changes before you start testing your fertility.
Frequency of sex
It may sound very obvious, but you're not going to find it easy to get pregnant if you aren't having enough sex. A woman's most fertile time is generally thought to be about two days before she ovulates, but it is usually possible to conceive during the six days leading up to ovulation. Once an egg has been released, there is a relatively short period of time in which it can be fertilized, so you are most likely to get pregnant if there are sperm ready and waiting. If you are having sexual intercourse three times a week, you are unlikely to be missing this window of opportunity.
Seeing a doctor for the first time
It is perfectly normal to feel awkward about approaching your doctor to discuss the fact that you aren't finding it easy to get pregnant. Sometimes admitting this to your doctor entails a shift in attitude from feeling vaguely concerned that things aren't happening to accepting that there may be something wrong. Many couples feel apprehensive about this, and it may help to know that problems getting pregnant are the most common reason apart from pregnancy itself for women between the ages of 20 and 45 visiting their doctor.
Most doctors are sympathetic to fertility problems, but some couples do feel that they don't get the attention they need and deserve. If you have been trying to conceive for some time and are starting to get upset about the fact that you're not getting pregnant, this is a problem that deserves to be taken seriously. If your doctor tells you to go away and keep trying when you've already spent more than the recommended amount of time doing just that, you may want to consider seeing someone else.
'After about a year when nothing had happened I started to think that it wasn't right. We started off by going to the doctor but he wasn't very good. He didn't take us seriously and he said to just give it time. It all seemed very slow at first. They say you're just being impatient and that things will happen when they happen, which is fine if it does, but sometimes there's a problem and it needs sorting. Ann, 44
It makes sense to take your partner with you for the first visit to the doctor, as any potential fertility problem could lie with either of you. Many women end up going alone to their first appointment, partly because they may be worried more quickly than their partners, and aware of the time limits on their fertility.
'My husband thought I was worrying too much that I wasn't getting pregnant. He kept saying it would happen eventually. In the end I went to the doctor about something else, and mentioned I was worried because we'd been trying for a baby for months and nothing had happened. The doctor said he might as well do some tests right away. I think my husband was surprised when I came home with a sperm sample pot for him after going to the doctors about painful periods.' Carol, 45
At the initial visit, the doctor may look back over your medical history and carry out basic physical examinations and blood or sperm tests to make sure there is no obvious problem. Sometimes they may prefer to refer you on to a specialist right away. To find out more, you can check out Symptoms Of Infertility.
