Although it is far from uncommon for children to be brought up in lone-parent families, women who have actively made the decision to do this often feel that they face criticism and need to justify their choice. Having a child alone is not something you would necessarily have chosen to do, and women often resort to this because they are aware that time is running out, and fear they may miss out on the opportunity of having a child entirely if they keep waiting for the right partner to come along. The fact that this may not have been your first choice doesn't mean it is a bad choice, although you will have to come to terms with the idea that your future is probably not going to turn out the way you might have envisaged it.
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'It was really hard accepting that I'd be having my first child at the very least on my own, that I won't know the father, it will be a stranger, I am not going to have a husband who loves me sharing this with me. Coming to terms with that took me quite a long time. Now I have accepted that I've got to do it this way I don't feel I am doing an immoral thing, just the best l can do in the circumstances.' Thea, 39
Telling other people
Telling friends and family that you are planning to have a child alone can be difficult. Whereas some people will be incredibly supportive of your decision, you have to accept that not everyone will understand. It may be particularly difficult to tell your parents, who may feel sad that their daughter is not going to share the experience with a partner, or worried about how she will cope. Other parents are just delighted that they will, after all, have the opportunity to be grandparents.
'My mother had made a few disparaging comments at various times about single parents and I was anxious about how she'd take the news. The doctor asked if I'd told her, and on my next visit to my parents, I broke the news. I couldn't believe the look of utter joy on her face. She had no grandchildren at the time, and had clearly always wanted a grandchild but had been very careful to hide her desire.' Ruth, 45
The practicalities
So how do you go about getting pregnant when you don't have a partner? The prospect may seem daunting, but can be surprisingly straightforward once you are sure it is the right way ahead for you.
First steps
The first step is probably to talk to your doctor. Some women do try to bypass this, but if you have your doctor on your side from the start it can be incredibly helpful not just while you are going through the whole process of donor insemination, which can take a while, but also during the pregnancy, birth and early motherhood. If your doctor is not going to be sympathetic, it is worth finding that out sooner rather than later and signing up with another who is.
'I did see one doctor who said you can't have children until you've got a husband, so you'd better go and find one of them first and forget about anything else. I am quite cross about that because it was one of the times I really needed someone to give me some encouragement to do this. The doctor I see now is absolutely brilliant about it and really supportive.' Thea, 39
Most women in this situation do feel that they want to have their own biological child, to experience pregnancy and birth, but it is also possible for single women to adopt, and this may be an alternative route to motherhood for women who don't have partners. This is not necessarily a quicker, or easier, option, as you will have to go through some fairly rigorous examinations to make sure you would be suitable to become an adoptive mother, but it is something many single women have done successfully. To find out more, you can check out Things To Improve Chances Of Getting Pregnant.
